Teaching Emotional Regulation: Tips for Creating a Calming Corner

By Jane Ollard

During stressful times, we are all looking for a place to find a few moments of peace and calm...and our children and students are no exception. Creating a calming corner and, most importantly, teaching kids how to use it, is a positive step in the right direction. It turns out that helping children strengthen their emotional awareness and self-control will be an essential asset for them to carry into adulthood!

As parents and educators, we are always looking at how best to prepare our children for their future. We know it's essential to promote qualities such as flexibility and emotional regulation.

In a future where a gig economy rather than singular careers will predominate, there will be a focus on skills rather than specific jobs. Changes in the workplace and the need to learn new skills will be constant and frequent. The ability to be flexible and to emotionally adapt when things are rapidly changing around us will be critical. These strengths can be encouraged and reinforced at an early age. Self-awareness is the first step.

Our little ones need some help in labeling and dealing with their emotions. We can teach young children simple strategies that they can use to calm themselves down. When they practice how to survive an emotional upset, a valuable lesson is learned. We all learn from challenging experiences and feel a sense of accomplishment when we overcome them....even little humans.

Believing that we can influence our own circumstances and can regulate our emotions allows us to be resilient when faced with disappointments or unexpected change. This skill provides a solid foundation for successful future adult relationships too.

Calming Vibes

What is a calming corner?

Essentially a safe space to rest their bodies and process emotions. An opportunity for peace and quiet in a soft, cozy area. It should not be viewed as a punishment or a time out, but rather a place where children develop their self-regulation skills. These are critical and essential skills for healthy social-emotional development. We all know young children have big feelings!

By pointing them in the right direction, and providing a simple menu of acceptable activities, we can help little ones break away from an overwhelming situation. Once they are in a calm setting, they can begin to regulate their emotions. It's more effective to intervene and offer a trip to the calming corner as soon as you notice the first signs of frustration or overstimulation.

Also, consider potential triggers- is your child hungry? tired? Off schedule? Don't wait until your toddler is mid-tantrum. Every child has unique emotional needs: think about what soothes your child when they are upset or angry.

Creating your corner

Below are some key points to consider:

• Keep it simple; no need for this to be fancy or complicated. This should be a safe space conducive to self-soothing.

• You don't need a large space. You can create a cozy nook in the corner of a room.

• Make it quiet and welcoming.

• Use a fluffy rug, a bean bag, and soft twinkle lighting.

• Add calming music or a sounds machine.

• Provide favorite activities and books.

• Display a visual menu of calming activity choices.

Lots of resources are available to stock your calming corner with things to soothe your little one. Consider including:

• A feelings chart to identify and record their emotions

• Paper, crayons and stickers

• Note writing materials for reflection

• Small bottles of water

• A glitter ball or a homemade glitter jar

• Squishy stress balls

• A plastic mirror for the child to see and identify emotions

• A sand timer to help structure this activity

Special sensory needs can be accommodated with a little pre-planning too. If the child gets overwhelmed by loud noises or needs high levels of sensory stimulation or input, you can personalize it to match these needs—for example, noise-canceling headphones.

Teaching your child to use the calming corner

Set the stage by firstly reassuring your child or student that emotions are not negative or "bad." Help them recognize that everyone feels angry and frustrated at times. Talk about alternatives to acting out and give options. Describe scenarios where you may suggest they use the corner. Model and practice it before the need arises.

Don't use the corner as a threat. Describe it as a place they can go to help themselves feel better. Allow them to sometimes make a choice to use the space before behaviors or feelings escalate. Let your kids give input on items or activities to include.

Teach belly breathing and practice it as a fun activity to include in your menu of options. There are some wonderful apps and podcasts that help talk kids through various meditation activities.

If you choose to use flashcards with pictures of yoga poses, teach the poses ahead of time.

Not just for kids!

The ability to regulate our emotions just means that we have mastered the skill of being able to understand and process our experiences, reducing behaviors that don't serve us. This is really helpful in adult life, of course! We want our children to "play well with others" throughout their journey ….starting in preschool and continuing all the way into the workplace. Having refined communication and collaboration skills is a highly valued quality in the workplace. Also, it makes us both happier and more resilient in our professional and personal relationships.

And if you’re anything like Amy- when her kids are driving her crazy she will occasionally plop herself down into their calming corner, listen to the rainforest noises, and take a moment to reset.